Friday, August 5, 2011

A tale of two Lizards

'Eeks!Balli!!!!!',screamed the sister just before stepping into the washroom.
'Don't make such a big deal out of such small things.Stomp your foot hard and it will make way for you' screamed back Mommy from the kitchen.

'I think it's dead!I can't see it's eyes open!' she shouted back.
'May be it's sleeping.Let it be' said Bhali, her brother, whose name meant strong guy. 
'Enough enough' said mommy as she walked to the spot to have a look.'Call Chandramma and ask her to clear it up' she said not wanting to waste any more time lest the curry gets overcooked.The maid walked in with a chata and a broomstick.Looking at the dead creature,she said,'Looks like it's not a normal lizard but a poisonous one.It has green spots over the exposed part of its body which stores poison',using all her knowledge from extensively watching the long running saas bahu serials.After finishing preliminary examination she tried sweeping away the dead body with the broom stick;but it wouldn't move.She tried again and again but it didn't budge.'Amma!Looks like it's stuck!' she said,her voice trailing off.She paused for a moment,had a eureka moment and shouted 'It has been killed!Someone stepped on it!'

That moment everything transformed.The lizard became a victim of violence and it's species sounded endangered and it's reptile rights violated.The spot became a crime scene and the maid spoke as
though an autopsy had to be conducted to know the exact cause of death.Looking at the heightened excitement in Operation Clearing Dead Lizard,Bhali went to find out what really was happening.He was told about the horrendous incident,with the maid adding how sinful it is to kill a lizard. After listening to everything Bhali said 'Oh!So this was the one.Yesterday night I felt that I stepped on something really soft and rough and I had a feeling that it wriggled.Didn't think it was a lizard.'

The mommy gasped and the sister stood in awe.The maid already started pulling his legs to see if there were any poisonous bites on his soles.'You killed a lizard!You stepped on it' were mommys first words after recovery.'Let me call your grandmother and find out what the upayam(solution) is!Don't step out of the house till I tell you to!Shani is right behind your back!' In the meantime, the sister was updating her status for her telugu friends '@Bhali balied a balli with his balam'(which roughly translates to "A lizard sacrificed it's life under the heavy weight of Bhali." And balied is Telgish,the past -ed version of bali-ing)

While mommy was over the phone and sister was busy facebooking,the maid was busy updating another maid right across the flat with such a tone that the whole apartments could hear her.'Which foot did you stamp it with!There are different remedies for both the foots!' said mommy,invoking a very interesting question.Bhali though for a moment,looked under his feet and said,'I guess it's the right!Can we drop the matter here!?' Mommy didn't listed to him and continued her quest for a solution over the phone.'May be he should go to Kanchi and touch the golden lizard for pariharam' said the driver who walked in to collect the keys and who by now knew everything thanks to the reach of the news in the apartment.'May be he should perform abhishekam to Subramanya Swami and seek for mercy' shouted the pan-eating maid from the other apartment.By the time other solutions like 108 pradakshanas and head tonsuring in the temple were offered,mommy was done with the call and she said 'Have head bath and offer Salt to God as an offering.In the meantime, I'll call our family astrologer and find out if we have to perform any graha shanti.' Bhali was totally ridiculed by this idea but was thankful that it was a simple solution.He thought;after all, even God needs salt for flavoring his food after all!

After an hour of prayers and God pleasing, and after mom was completely satisfied that the shani was off his back and the dosham(bad luck) stopped dancing on his head,he was let out with a promise to visit the temple before going anywhere.He took the stairs and was going down when he heard his maid talking to her colleague 'I think they should amputate his right foot before the dosham spreads to the rest of his body.If they don't do it now,they might repent later in life.'Just as she finished her unsolicited suggestion, Bhali felt something squishy under his foot.This time, he was going to walk off quitely."


1 comment:

So....What do you think?